RALPH

             Ya know, sometimes one just overflows with pride.   I often wonder what my boys might have become if they had had the opportunity to grow up. David would be just a few years younger than Ralph.
              I had Ralph as a young'un in elementary school my first year of teaching - that year when, no matter how long you teach, you will always remember those kids, where they sat, what they did... Ralph was in the 3rd grade that year. He was not an outstanding artist, not the class clown, or the kind of kid you had to give "that LOOK" to... but he had Something. I was not able to define what that was - still can't, but in the course of my 38 year career, I have been so blessed to have had a few kids with that Something. They didn't all become big shot politicians, but they all became FINE men and women- people to be proud of. I confess, having had and lost 2 boys, I paid more attention to my boys than my girls in school, and especially in that age bracket, always wondering if mine would have been like this kid or that...........
                My pride in Ralph is not exactly politically oriented, tho I am proud of his beliefs and the stands he has taken in his political career... but it is as a doctor where he so greatly shines in the hearts of so many here. This article does not begin to give him the credit he deserves - he does not seek publicity or fame. He is often very understated, even underrated. Humble. My kind of guy. He does tons of pro-bono work, flies out to Tangier, for example, to care for kids when they come home from CHKD. No one mentions the stuff he does like that, and that is the way he wants it.
Check him out here. Ya gotta love this guy.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/ralph-northam-vas-low-key-lieutenant-governor-juggles-politics-and-pediatrics/2014/07/27/9bfcbf72-fd7f-11e3-8176-f2c941cf35f1_story.html

WHAT I WANT IN A MAN

A FRIEND (A MAN!) sent me this email this morning. He is a dear friend, a neighbor, one of the world’s GOOD GUYS. Fer real! Here is the email he sent… followed by my answer.

What I Want in a Man.......Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. Loves surprising me on weekends
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a  good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Plans together time on weekends

What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

WELL, THAT is someone else’s list… here is my response:

AH, yes... I remember these...

But, lets see, what do I want in a man at age 67? Hmmmmmmm

1. Has his own car. (even better, a pick-up!)
2. Can still drive after dark (in case he wants me to be somewhere at 8 PM)
3. Has a weed-whacker that works. (maybe a chain saw)
4. Can still open the occasional jar.
5. VOLUNTEERS to do little chores around my yard or to drive me places.
6. Can carry my old Adirondack chair out to the yard in the spring and back in the fall.
7. Yells at me when I don't ask him to help. (Imagine!)
8. All he asks of me is to listen to him, give him a little praise (He IS a GREAT guy), show up to vote, or to take the minutes at the next meeting. (or write a check...) AND THAT IS ALL!
9. And then he goes home to his wife who has to feed him, do his laundry, and listen to him snore at night.

I have several of these guys.

I have been so blessed!

Life is good.

If you are one of these guys mentioned above - Please know how much you are appreciated!

A FRANK OBSERVATION

ANOTHER HERO

For the first 50 years or more of my life, I was always the helper, the fixer, the chauffeur, the care giver. For most of those years I was the youngest by at least 40 years, often more. If somebody needed to have something done, if I didn’t volunteer, someone volunteered me. If anyone had to go someplace, guess who drove? My grandparents raised me, by example, to be a helper, a good neighbor, to look out for those who were unable to do for themselves. I tell you this not to brag, but to explain how hard it is to sit back now and let people do for me. And “asking” someone to do something for me is almost an impossibility. You would think having spent so much time in the wheelchair I would have gotten better at asking, but, no, in fact it has pushed me even harder to get up on my feet and do it for myself, whatever it is. The brain is still 25 and is shocked daily to find that the body is not going along with that concept. Well, crap!
Twenty three years ago I moved down the street to a tiny house in the woods that is really kind of isolated for being in the town limits. I can see only one neighbor’s house, the one across the street, and even that one nearly disappears in the summer when the leaves come out. A few years ago I was able to see my neighbor’s house that is behind me thru the woods. We both had to have our pine trees cut down – pine bark beetle. It seemed so strange to be able to see a house back there. Today, as the new trees grow up, only the roof is visible, but I can hear Frank when he is mowing his grass.
I guess I can thank George W Bush for bringing Frank into my life. Even though we had been neighbors for years, we never “formally” met until I decided to explore the Democratic Party, turning my back on the party I had been raised with from my birth. Frank and his wife have become wonderful neighbors. I could not ask for better.
Last year, in March, I posted an article about being blessed with having Frank for my neighbor, and posted my first dirty pictures on here – pictures of my freshly tilled garden. It had been a dream of mine to have my own garden for years, and now that I had the time, I didn’t know how my body would be able to do it. I had purchased a Mantis several years ago thinking it was small enough and light enough to handle. A friend put it together for me and there it sat in my barn gathering dust. I had almost given up that dream when along came Frank with his cultivator and voila! I had a plowed garden just waiting for me to plant my seeds!
When I came home from a meeting yesterday afternoon, there was a message on my machine from Frank asking if he could come and till my garden. It was still kind of cool yesterday, in the 50s, and he thought it would be a good day to get the job done. Tomorrow it is supposed to be in the 70s. He didn’t expect to have to take the axe to a huge root that had worked its way up almost to the surface! Bless his heart and aching muscles! What a job it turned out to be. I felt so guilty watching him battle with that root!
I did talk him into trying out my Mantis, so now it looks at least slightly used! Much better to have some dirt on it and not just dust and cobwebs! I confess, I did try it out in a tiny area after Frank had plowed it up once, just to see if I could do it. Well, I can’t say I can, but I won’t say I can’t just yet. I will have to try it again. He did agree, once that root was out of there, the Mantis was fun to use. Well, maybe he didn’t use the word fun… I forget exactly what he said…
I know lots of people who just sit back and expect the rest of the world to do things for them. They have no problem asking for whatever they need – or want. I am not one of those people. I am posting this so Frank will know just how much I appreciate all he does for me. Just knowing he is my neighbor gives me a sense of comfort. Just to know I could actually ask his help is a wonderful thing. Thanks Frank!