A SUMMER SUNDAY MORNING

I find mornings exciting – well, I do now that I don’t have to get in the van and drive 20 miles to spend the day working at a job that mostly goes unappreciated these days. Heck, I can stay home and not get appreciated and have a much better time doing it! But mornings excite me with the cliché of seeing what the new day will bring and the gratitude of being able to see and hear it. I do lots of posts about Gratitude… note the capital letter, for Gratitude is what gets me thru life. I seldom actually post them… writing them, thinking about all i have to be grateful for is all I really need to do at the time. I spent many, many years being bitter, sitting on the pity pot with Poor me, Poor me, and the occasional Pour me… but the bitterness brought me only more bitterness. It did not make the pain go away. It did not help me to walk (or walk without pain). It sure did not bring me any peace. Once I accepted life on life’s terms and figured I’d better “get over it” in some sense of the word, well… it got better. OK, there are those who would argue that it really DIDN’T get better – maybe just some part of me got better. I had to stop looking at the weeds in my garden and notice the flowers.

I have always loved the play of light on and thru objects… especially as the light shines thru leaves and flowers or lights up some distant corner of the garden while the background is still in a bit of darkness. Years ago I had a little girl living with me who thought we should whisper outside in the morning because parts of the garden and woods were still asleep. So, whisper we did. It was fun, actually, as she would tap my side to point out little things she saw from her childhood perspective. She was not afraid of bugs or other critters and they seemed to know this often allowing her to hold them and whisper to them.

She loved my St Fwankie, as she called him, “cuz he wuved all critters and knew they wuz his cousins.” She said the Buddhas were there to tell her to get quiet, calm down, pick a flower, study it. Brilliant child.

 

The sun in the morning hits this Buddha first thing. His whiteness just glows with the shadows behind him. I see him out the kitchen window as I take my first sip of coffee or tea every morning. He reminds me to go sit and get my morning meditation in… but the day often does not cooperate. The phone starts to ring, people arrive, the cat yowls for something different for breakfast or to let me know his dish is empty – how could I not notice such an important thing? I look back out the window, take another sip, swallow my blood pressure medicine (sigh) check the clock, feed the cat, give him his pill, go outside to feed Spook… try not to look around for Punkin – tho I still do.

I notice the phlox around the ground level birdbath are especially beautiful this morning. The hanging planter has come back into bloom. The colors seem to blend in with the mood of the phlox. St Fwankie seems quiet this morning, still in shadow. Perhaps he is still napping! I’d better not wake him. The bench sits alone and empty,  bags of mulch still on the ground. It has just been too hot to work out there, or the mosquitoes too hungry. And any cool moment is spent on the mower or swinging the weed whacker around keeping a clear path to the bean patch.

The yellow wax beans have been picked almost to extinction… when they are finished, I will pull these plants and replant for a fall crop. The Italian flats have been ready and enjoyed by many of us this week. I discover with  great excitement that I have 2 pickles and one almost cucumber but lots of flowers on the only 2 cuke plants to survive the coonie bear rampage of a couple weeks ago. The onions have been harvested, and the potatoes are looking sad and tired. I discovered that means they will soon be ready to harvest. Dumb me, the first year I thought I had lost all my potatoes. LOL! Stupid me, I almost dumped out 5 lbs of redskins from the potato bag that first year.

As I wander around the yard, I notice my favorite day lilies are in bloom. I now have quite a few, but these never bore me. My aunt called them funny faces.

This is one of my first day lilies… the morning sun makes the center glow as it shines thru it.

Thanks for taking a little walk around the garden with me… look at the pictures, be calm, wuv all critters, be kind, and let the beauty that is out there shine thru and into your heart.

BREAK FAST

 

A week or so ago, I did a post about Ramazan (Ramadan) and the comments to the blog were few, but I did get a number of emails about the post. http://possumlane.blogspot.com/2010/08/ramadan-ramazan.html.

As most folks who know me at all know that I used to live in Turkey and that I have traveled extensively throughout the Middle East. I have a number of close Turkish friends here on the Shore. There are several restaurants here on the Eastern Shore of Virginia that are owned by Turks. I can think of 8 without straining my brain all that hard…

Anyway, my Turkish friends seem to appreciate my pitiful attempts at speaking their language (which I had not spoken for nearly 50 years, except for a selection of cuss words when needed – that my boss could not understand) and they appreciate my love of their country, food, and understanding and acceptance of their customs. So, I and some friends that I hang out with were invited to a Break Fast at an American Turkish cultural center in Georgetown, Delaware. If you read my post on Ramazan, you will remember that they do not eat or drink during daylight hours, which is a long stretch when Ramazan falls in the summer months. Remember Ramazan is based on the lunar calendar, so it is about 11 days earlier every year. Next year the days will be even longer as Ramazan will start about the 1^st of August. So, last night, our dinner was served at 8 PM, just after sunset.

Most of the women were dressed in their finest headscarves and long sleeved, floor length dresses. Most of the women and children sat on one side of the room, most of the men and visitors on the other. It just seemed to work that way for ease in feeding and caring for the children, not as a segregation thing. Think about your home at Thanksgiving, the men in front of the TV set or hanging out on the porch or gazebo, the women gathered around in the kitchen… I remember G-ma threatening the men with a spatula if they did not get out of her way… the gazebo was the escape from work or just being underfoot.

Our host, Asher, served us.

 

My friend, Mehmet, sat with me. My friends, Beatrice and Grenville, who kindly drove me to the dinner – a wonderful thing since I don’t drive after dark - and sat across from me.

We had a delicious dinner, lentil soup and fresh baked rolls, Turkish meatballs (Köfte – pronounced kind of like Kurftah), pilaf with beef and chickpeas, and a salad, and a sauce to eat with the pilaf. The sauce is a mixture of yogurt, cucumbers, onion and light garlic. All this was followed by fresh made baklava and çay (chai).

It was an emotional experience for me.

If you’ve read much of my blog or if you have known me for a while, you will know I dearly loved the few years I spent in Turkey, I was treated like royalty wherever I went, and I was most fortunate to be able to travel throughout much of the country. That might not look like much on the map, but back in the early 60s, the only paved roads were in the major cities, and there were often no bridges over the shallower rivers, one drove thru them. So travel was slow and yet it gave one a chance to experience the country in a way today’s tourists will miss whizzing by things at 70 mph. Part of my dad’s job was to help set up facilities for building roads and bridges. And being young (I graduated high school in Ankara) I picked up a bit of the language – enough to get in or out of trouble, get something to eat or drink, and find the bathroom! For some reason some of the words have always been part of my thinking vocabulary and just pop out from time to time and I don’t even realize it. I learned to eat eggplant in Turkey, so I learned it as patlican (pot-la-john) and still have to pause and think of the English for it, which in my old age can take some time.

An imam called us to prayer. It has been 46 years since I have heard an actual live voice do the call to prayer. It brought tears to my eyes. I felt very homesick for Turkey. There was prayer both before and after dinner giving thanks for the food and fellowship.

I got to visit with my dear friend, Ülkü, and her daughter I will call Bebek. You might remember them from the post about visiting the Virginia Museum of Marine Science. http://possumlane.blogspot.com/2010/03/missing-in-action-once-again.html

So I want to thank my dear friend, Asher, for inviting me and my friends, Grenville for offering to drive, Beatrice for her company, Mehmet for being my dinner companion, Ülkü and her friends for preparing a wonderful dinner, and the Turkish community for sharing a special occasion with us.

I am still smiling. Çok teşekkür ederim.

RAMADAN, RAMAZAN

 

Ramadan, or Ramazan as I learned it many years ago, started August 11^th this year. It made the news the other night because of some football player who is a Muslim is going to be observing Ramadan, and they are concerned with his ability to play during the fast. Of course… football… we can’t have someone impaired and not entertaining us, can we? But, I must look at the good side and shut that cynical self up… The good side is, it brings up the concept of Ramadan and thus the meaning is there for those who want to learn from it. So, a number of my friends have asked me about it knowing that I have many Muslim friends and Muslim family members.

For many, it is just seen as a time of fasting, from sunrise to sunset. But it is so much more than that. I will include a link to an excellent site for anyone who wants to learn more about Islam – not the fundamentalist jerks, who, like most any other fundamentalist group take holy words and distort them into a license for violence, but the true Islam which is a religion of peace. I know it is not perceived that way in this country anymore, but we often judge an entire people by the actions of a radical few. And another truth is, many of us in the USA see “them” in exactly the same way as they see us – after all, we have troops on the ground in several Muslim countries, we have bombed wedding parties, innocent villagers, farmers in their fields, women, children and babies in their mother’s arms… and we have a reputation for “occupying” countries, keeping a military presence after we are no longer being openly called the enemy.

If you have an open mind and wish to learn more, I suggest you visit http://www.islamicity.com/ramadan/ . It is an excellent site if you wish to be educated about Islam.

The following are excerpts from Islamicity on Ramadan. I have included a few things folks don’t expect to see… things beyond the usual fasting rules and prayer.

Eat, drink and be moderate

Almost all of us do it - once [the sun sets], we just keep plowing food and drink into our mouths till it's hard to move afterwards. And those of us who do it know this is totally contrary to the spirit of Ramadan, through which we're supposed to learn self-control not self-indulgence. Let's try to stick to the Prophetic rule on eating: fill our stomachs with one-third food, one-third water and one-third breathing space, even in Ramadan.

Give a dollar a day in charity...or five or ten

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was always generous but even more so in Ramadan. Let's open our hearts and dig a little deeper in our wallets this year. Even less than a dollar a day adds up. Whatever you can give, it's the intention that counts.

Stop swearing and/or backbiting - with a special box

It's hard not to shoot our mouths off when someone's upset us. Whether we utter those four-letter words or backbite about someone to our family and friends, we know this isn't the God-approved way of letting off steam. In Ramadan, when we want to build our spirituality, we've got to [fight] our bad habits.

Try this: get a box [or jar] and every time you catch yourself swearing or backbiting put some money in it. It could be a buck or less. The point is to choose an amount that makes it feel like punishment.

At the end of the month send the money to a charity or buy a gift for the person whom you've backbitten the most against.

Call/email your relatives

You'd think that given the easy access to email, competitive long-distance calling rates, phone cards, etc. these days, we'd keep in touch with family and friends more often. But the opposite seems to be the case, as we get caught up in life's "busyness."

Strengthening ties with family members and keeping in touch with friends is part of our way of life and an act Allah is very pleased with. This Ramadan, call family and friends or at least email them a Ramadan card and ask them how their fasting is going.

Go on a technology diet

Even if you work in the IT industry, you can do this. Avoid checking personal email and surfing the web during your fast. After [the sun sets], instead of plopping yourself in front of the screen, pray. The same goes for the television. The point is to try to give our full attention to spiritual elevation this month.

Forgive everyone who has hurt you

Still got a festering wound from the fight with your friend last year? Still upset about something your spouse said during a heated argument? Or are you still bitter about the way your parents sometimes treated you as a kid? Let go of the anger and pain this Ramadan and forgive those who have hurt you. Forgiving someone is not only good for the body, but it's also great for the soul. And in Ramadan, ten days of which are devoted to Allah's forgiveness, shouldn't we lesser beings forgive too?  

If you find it very difficult to forgive everyone, forgive at least three people.

Q: Why does Ramadan begin on a different day each year?

Because Ramadan is a lunar month, it begins about eleven days earlier each year. Throughout a Muslim's lifetime, Ramadan will fall both during winter months, when the days are short, and summer months, when the days are long and the fast is more difficult. In this way, the difficulty of the fast is evenly distributed between Muslims living in the northern and southern hemispheres.

Q: What do Muslims believe they gain from fasting?

One of the main benefits of Ramadan is an increased compassion for those in need of the necessities of life, a sense of self-purification and reflection and a renewed focus on spirituality. Muslims also appreciate the feeling of togetherness shared by family and friends throughout the month. Perhaps the greatest practical benefit is the yearly lesson in self-restraint and discipline that can carry forward to other aspects of a Muslim's life such as work and education.

Q: Are there any exemptions from fasting?

Some of these exemptions are optional. 

Children under the age of puberty (Young children are encouraged to fast as much as they are able.) 

People who are mentally incapacitated or not responsible for their actions

The elderly

The sick

Travelers who are on journeys of more than about fifty miles

Pregnant women and nursing mothers

Women who are menstruating

Those who are temporarily unable to fast must make up the missed days at another time or feed the poor.

Q: Is fasting just about not eating and drinking during daylight hours?

Despite what many may think Ramadan is just not about restraining from food and drink. Muslims must also refrain from things such as verbal abuse, fighting, eavesdropping, backbiting, lying and slander as these acts render the fast as worthless. In essence Muslims must be model human beings during the fast. The act of abstinence is not meant to starve you; it is an act of worship like prayer. It enables people with plenty to empathize with those who have very little in this world.

To all my Muslim friends and relatives, Have a Happy and Blessed Ramazan. Peace be with you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to HIS HOLINESS the DALAI LAMA

HIS HOLINESS, the DALAI LAMA IS 75 TODAY. I feel like one of the most fortunate people alive to have had the opportunity to have studied with him, to call him teacher, and to have taken my vows with him. No, I did not have my head shaved or don Buddhist robes, not THOSE vows, I took what are called the Bodhichitta vows, or often called, in simplicity, the vow to do no harm.

Generating the Awakening Mind

 

With a wish to free all beings

I shall always go for refuge

To the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha

Until I reach full enlightenment.

 

Enthused by wisdom and compassion,

Today in the Buddha’s presence

I generate the Awakening Mind

For the benefit of all sentient beings.

 

As long as space remains,

As long as sentient beings remain,

Until then, may I too remain

And dispel the miseries of the world.

 

On a daily basis, I repeat those vows and struggle to live with the 5 Precepts -

1. Abstain from killing any living beings.
2. Abstain from taking what is not given.
3. Abstain from sexual misconduct.
4. Abstain from lying and false speech.
5. Abstain from the consumption of intoxicants and drugs.

The hardest of these is Number 1, as it includes mosquitoes, ticks, flies, etc. The other 4 are a piece of cake!

The Dalai Lama is, without a doubt, the holiest living man I know of. No, we do not worship him… but he is greatly revered. To have the opportunity to study under him, if only for 6 days, well, it still blows my mind that I was so fortunate. I know, I said that before and I still feel it is totally understated. I also have several other teachers, but by taking those vows with him, he is considered my primary teacher.

He exudes happiness, a sense of Peace, an understanding that just cannot be put into words. He has an amazing sense of humor. I remember one time he was telling a joke in Tibetan. None of us knew Tibetan, but he had us laughing right along with him before his translator told it in English. Then we got to laugh all over again!

Let me also remind those of you who don’t know or don’t remember from your college philosophy classes, Buddhism is a philosophy more so than a religion. Can you be a Christian and a Buddhist? Yes, it is possible. A Muslim and a Buddhist? Yes… But one great difference is, Buddhism does not tell you that you HAVE to BELIEVE anything if it does not make sense. It begs you to think for yourself, not just accept things on blind faith or because someone told you that you would go to hell if you did not believe. However, the concepts of Heaven and Hell become much clearer, and surely by living in such a way as to do NO harm to ANY living being has got to improve your chances of  “getting into Heaven” than not.

But my point is not to explain Buddhism here. There are many wonderful sites if you just google Buddhism and check out the many links. My point here is to honor the Dalai Lama on his 75th birthday, and share my gratitude for having had the opportunity to not only have been in his presence, but to have “bumped” heads with him in honor as he “blessed” my khata, and placed it around my neck. Yep, just like that. Sigh.

If you want to read about my class with His Holiness, you can find it at

http://possumlane.blogspot.com/2008/07/day-with-dalai-lama.html

Happy Birthday, Tenzin Gyatso. May you stay until Samsara’s end.

IF SNOW STAYS ON THE GROUND...

IF SNOW STAYS ON THE GROUND, it is waiting for more. That is what I have been told most of my life - or at least the part of my life that I have lived on the Eastern Shore - that would be about 46 years. It is stretching the truth to say that snow is RARE here - its not rare as such, but for it to stick around more than 2 days is rare. To have snowfall after snowfall is RARE. To have more than 2 inches is close to rare. Snow in December is rare - but, when it does happen, it is always a sign that we will have more snow and a long, cold winter. On a normal day, normal year, we have camellias blooming almost everyday. the bushes start in September and as the year progresses, different camellias bloom until the last one finishes in May. This year, the December and January camellias have either not bloomed at all, or have opened briefly only to be frozen a day later. Brown flowers are so sad looking, and I have several bushes of brown blooms. A few brave camellias have tried to open - this was yesterday - and, guess what? They are calling for snow again tonight. And freezing temps. Of course. Sigh. Also, we normally have pansies in bloom most all winter....... except when the deer eat them. So this year, I put up my "pansy fence, a piece of string tied from stake to stake, just enough to keep the deer from crossing - funny how that works - but the pansies are in sad shape. It has been fun to see the occasional bit of color in the leaves left over from last year because it got too cold and nasty (rain or snow, flooding, mud) to work out in the yard. Usually the first daffodils have just opened. This year, they are only a few inches out of the ground, and I was hard pressed to even find any buds. Huge sections of the yard have been underwater for so long, barely drying out between rains or snow storms, so they are now growing moss. Usually this is nice thick grass. Can you believe these will be beautiful digitalis in a few months? They got buried under a pile of snow and gravel from shoveling the driveway. Poor Punkin, it has been so wet, he hasn't been able to do his usual roll over- rub my tummy thing... Here he has closed his eyes in bliss of being able to roll over in the dampness, but not in a puddle. Remember his misery when he could not find a place to pee? Nothing like snow up over your hind-end when ya gotta pee!

At this moment, the sun is in and out. The feeders need to be filled, (see the goldfinches?) I need to run to the grocery store, finish a paper for my Planning Commission Certification, pack up a gift for a friend to take back to Turkey for his mother, wash the kitchen floor, get a shower and get ready for my Doctor's appointment to get my back straightened out - again... Sigh. And tomorrow, if the snow is not too deep, I will go across the Bay with a friend to bring his wife home. She just had some serious surgery - Stage 3 ovarian you know what. I refuse to say its name. My main job is going to be to fatten her up... she is down to 95 lbs. So, as you can see, life has gotten a bit hectic. My usual momentary escape has been to walk out in the yard and look at the flowers, feed the birds, rub Punky's tummy. It doesn't take much to give me a moment's calm... But the yard is so spongy and muddy, yesterday is the first time I have been out to what I call the back 40... it has been under water or ice for so long, and the mud will suck the boots off your feet. Don't ask me how I know, it is not a pretty story.

I am sorry if I have not answered your email or commented on your blog... my computer is bogged down in its own mud called old age, and I hate using the laptop. Be patient... that is MY life lesson right now - what's yours?